'Real Housewives of Dallas' Recap: “She will fart on command, and I will dance in her fart”
Let’s get to the premiere of the newest Real Housewives franchise.
First up to bat, Brandi. Her voice is equal parts lovely, and slightly annoying. She’s been in Dallas for fifteen years. According to Brandi, fashion is one of the highlights of living in Dallas. I’m sure she’d love the annual Posche Fashion Show up in Jersey. Brandi started as a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader when she was twenty-one years old. Which is actually very impressive. She’s now married (Bryan) and has two kids (Brooklyn, and Brinkley.) The Kardashian Effect is real, y’all. Bryan is apparently gone 90% of the time for business. Brandi justifies this by saying he really wants to be a billionaire by the time he is forty. And here begins the classic ‘absent husband’ housewives storyline.
(Side Note: is anyone else really NOT digging the new font this production team decided to go with? I know this show was originally slated as ‘Ladies of Dallas’, and it looks suspiciously similar to the Ladies of London fonts. Not the vibe.)